Omo mi ma di Lawyer
on careers: making a case for our parents.
This week’s letter is: 989 words
Dear reader,
You know how the story goes. Big shot, award-winning celebrity, says in interviews: You know, my parents wanted me to be a doctor, BUT LOOK AT ME NOW!
Allow me to make a case for the parents in question.
From time memorial, many parents have always tried to optimise for their children to reach heights they never could attain and to ensure they don’t make the mistakes that they did.
What is the success rate for X against Y? Is my child most likely to have a successful life if I send them to study accounting than if they study theatre arts?
The metrics of success differ from individual to individual, but across the world, many will agree that a successful life looks like this: a good career, nice house, nice car, ability to take care of themselves and their family.
For every generation, the path that leads to a successful life changes and so do the aspirations of individuals. This is largely influenced by the existing technology and needs of a particular generation.
For example, centuries ago, owning farms was a symbol of wealth, so if your father had a farm, best believe he’s hoping one, day, you will own two farms.
Fast forward to the 80s and 90s, where many of the people with the shiny houses and squeaky new cars were people with white collar jobs; people who had won scholarships to study abroad and then moved back to the country to establish their own hospitals, law firms, engineering firms and so on.
The aspiration then became: my child will study law, medicine, accounting or any other white-collar leading course.
Who doesn’t want their child to have a squeaky new car and a shiny big house?
As people morph- a baby grows into a young lady, a young lady becomes a grandma- so does society.
I imagine that even in the early 2000s, being a musician with no Spotify or Soundcloud to transport your music across continents, little checks on piracy and the general disregard for creatives, meant signing up for a lifetime of poverty.
Even in this generation, for every Wizkid or Asake, there are millions around the world, who will, factually speaking, never attain that level of fame or success and to have a loved one chasing that path is honestly, a little scary.
However, in this era of social media, the possibilities of what you can be are endless; from a baby name specialist to a fashion influencer on Tiktok. The world your parents knew has drastically shifted and the aspirations they nudged you towards have lost their solidity and become vapour.
Millennials are now preparing their kids for careers that seem to be poised towards the most successful life: Footballer, Youtube Influencer, Musician, Tech bro/sis.
It used to be: my child is outspoken, she’s definitely going to be a lawyer.
Now, it is: my child is outspoken, so let’s open a Youtube channel for her.
This is how I know that contrary to what we tell ourselves and what we will rather believe, we are just like our parents. Except, we have more shiny devices and social media accounts and are practising gentle parenting. ( I can’t wait to see what paths Gen Zs will try to push their kids towards)
At the core of it, most parents want the best for their kids and in their own way, try to enforce what they think is best (based on past experience and knowledge).
Are there parents who overdo and refuse to accept that at the end of the day, their child has a right to lead their own lives and they need to take a step back and trust/accept their child’s decision(s)? yes and yes.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, your parents telling you to study Engineering (even though you’ll rather be an actress) does not make them villains (excluding the ones who are excessive).
They are simply…human. And flawed. And fallible. Just like you. Just like me.
Here’s some cool stuff I read lately:
‘Nothing is going right for me.’ This letter was so vulnerable and relatable. But what I love most about the entire piece is the response to the letter. You should read this on your bad days. Or read it now so you can remember the words on your bad days.
The Curious Case of Deejay’s Missing Dick. Asides from the fact that this was written by Fuad, you should read this if this thought has ever crossed your mind: Can they steal somebody’s penis fr? An insightful and fascinating read!
The True Genius of Tech Leaders. Before this article, my working theory was that being brilliant in one thing does not mean you are brilliant in every other area. E.g Being a brilliant developer does not mean you should be leading a tech company. Well, this article posits, that many tech leaders aren’t even brilliant, but just lucky and with a keen eye for business.
Are You The Same Person You Used To Be? Is who you are today recognizable to who you were 10 years ago? This piece will make you reflect and nudge you a step closer to self-awareness/acceptance.
Of course, a love story. Fun and lighthearted.
What this newsletter is:
Watching: The Mentalist. I used to watch this with my brother about ten years ago. Never got to finish it, so you can see what my number one priority for Q4 is. (jk, jk)
Listening to: Hozier, Ku Lo Sa, and Mai’s Vault.
Doing: I’ve started journaling again and I 100% recommend it! Asides from the therapeutic feeling, I think it also serves as a way of looking back on your life and tracking the growth/quality of your thoughts.
That’s it for this newsletter. Thank you for reading.
With love,
Titi.
The content you consume >>>>
Thank you 🥰