On Community and Web 3.0

Dear Reader,

I hope your weekend was great (personally, I believe weekends should be 3 days long, but no one listens to me). Earlier this week, I was having a conversation with my friend about community and how I think Web 3 would bring us even farther away from each other. As a psychology student, I am interested in mental illness and wellness. I also believe that this model of existing mostly on a screen with little physical interaction and isolating ourselves from those around us is increasing our susceptibility to mental illnesses; more barriers to physical communities are exactly what we do not need. We’re not optimised to function this way, I say to him. Our conversation goes a little more like this:

T: I know I sound like a boomer but the thought of creating a space with no sanctions, yet infinite possibilities, frightens me.

J: That’s probably what they said about the internet in the beginning, you know.

T: *sigh* I know.

J: Web 3 is here whether we like it or not. It’s going to happen and we would adjust.

We go on to talk about the different communities we’re in, how they serve us and how we, in turn, serve them. Earlier in the year, I made the decision to be more intentional with my relationships. I took my phone off silent mode (for the first time in five years), so I’ll stop missing people’s calls, started reaching out to and checking in on more people, joined The Emecheta Collective -a writers group for women and a lot of other little things to help me achieve this goal. The result? I’ve fallen more in love with my friends (I didn’t think this was possible) and felt less alone than ever since my preteen years.

We are not wired to do this life thing alone. We need people to pour into us when we are almost empty and people to pull us out when it feels like we are drowning. And we owe them the same thing too. This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster and I don’t think I would have survived it without little acts of kindness from my little community; from sending funds to thoughtful messages to showing up at my door just to hug me.

I urge you as you go about your new week to be a little more intentional about community building; set up a date with a friend, say hello to your neighbour and ask them how their day is going, try to respond to your messages within 24 hours, etc.

Away from my musings, I read pretty interesting stuff this week, so let’s unpack them:

1. Sometimes you get to the top and realise you’re standing on a pile of ash. This piece follows Atoosa Rubenstein who had a very successful career as an editor, then blew it up because it wasn’t right.

2. If you do not read any of the links, you should read this one. How many more days do we actually have to spend with our friends, or do our favourite things? When you sit down to do the Depressing Maths, you’ll realize that it’s way less than you thought. Good thing is, you can decide to change this trajectory.

3. I really liked this piece by Olubanke Favour, especially because it’s similar to what I talked about in my last newsletter. Farabale, but be intentional about your life.

4. Poetry: You Enjoy Me by Afope Ojo whose work taught me a certain type of freedom.

5. This article was a bit difficult to read for two reasons:
   - getting pregnant at 21 is currently my biggest fear.
   - I’m very invested in talking about our society’s attitude towards sex. Preaching abstinence doesn’t mean people would stop having sex so perhaps we should be steering the conversation towards safe sex instead?

6. ‘I’ll Tell You The Secret About Cancer.’ by Caitlin Flanagan
   Spoiler Alert: You can’t positive mindset your way out of it. And here’s another reason why we should stop giving unsolicited advice.

7. Helena shares her journey of transition and detransition. I have a lot of thoughts on this essay. It’s quite a long read, but you should read it if you have the time.

---

What this newsletter is listening to:

Asa’s V album. I’ll admit, I wasn’t sold at first listen, but now it’s grown on me.

Sarz and WurlD’s I love Girls With Trouble- this is probably one of the best albums released by a Nigerian musician in the last five years.

Billie Eilish (of course).

Labrinth and Zendaya’s I’m tired score for Euphoria.

---

A little self-promotion:

I collected my thoughts on Love into an essay and think you might enjoy it. Read it here.

---

I hope you enjoy reading these stories as much as I did. I also want this to be, beyond a newsletter, a community of sorts. So feel free to write back, tell me your thoughts on some of the stories I shared, and even your favourite story from the week! 

Away from this newsletter, what’s the best story you read this week?  Share it with me, and who knows? It might feature in my next letter. 

Thank you for reading. Until next week. 

With love, 

Titi. 

P.S: I have done a little life audit and you shall now receive these letters on Sundays as opposed to Saturdays. Thank you for sticking with me.