You can only aspire to what you know is possible.
on big cars and expanding the quality of your dreams.
Dear reader,
I hope this meets you well.
There’s a story one of my oldest cousins often repeats at family gatherings. The story goes this way:
It's the early 90s and he’s just finished secondary school. He has come to Lagos to spend some time with my father. My father’s friends used to come to the house a lot and one of them is a pharmacist. Mr Pharmacist works for an international company, has a nice new car, and doesn’t seem to be in the low economic status that one often experiences at the start of their careers like my father and the rest of their friends.
Before meeting Mr Pharmacist, my cousin had no clue of what he wanted to do after secondary school, had never even thought that pharmacy was something one could study and my father’s occupation as an engineer which entailed carrying heavy equipment all the time, travelling a lot and being grossly underpaid, did not appeal to him in any way.
Following his encounter with Mr Pharmacist, he made the resolve to become one too so that he could drive a nice car and have lots of money.
Fast forward to 2022: he has been a pharmacist for almost two decades and does have a nice car.
I often think of how our dreams and aspirations can only be as big as what we know to be possible, and hearing this story again last week only cemented this for me.
It’s my birthday in a couple of weeks, and as a personal tradition, I have been taking stock of how much has changed since the last one.
Asides from minor things like losing my hair clips or developing a taste for Fresh Yo, other major changes have happened, most importantly perhaps is my career path.
I am currently building blocks for a new career, and it’s somewhat terrifying because just in January last year, writing was what I thought I wanted to do forever. As I reflected on this change, I realised my aspiration shifted because I randomly read a post on LinkedIn and fell into a rabbit hole of: oh what’s this about and wait, I could do this too!
In this global world, it’s become even easier to see the possibilities that can happen in your life, which is why it’s our responsibility now to feed the quality of our dreams and aspirations.
My perspective on luck and chance happenings is that they happen when you put yourself in situations where they are likeliest to happen.
Example: my probability of winning the lottery if I never buy a ticket is 0.
However, my probability of winning the lottery if I buy a ticket every Tuesdays and Thursdays marginally increases from zero to say, 5%.
My cousin having that chance encounter with Mr Pharmacist only happened because he decided to come to Lagos.
To increase what you know (to be possible) and by consequence, what you aspire to, it’s necessary to be intentional about exploring, building your knowledge base, and putting yourself in situations that can shift your thinking: reading, travelling, volunteering, setting up a LinkedIn account, Ted talks, podcasts, random workshops or networking events.
We might not all be lucky enough to find someone with a nice big car to visit us, unintentionally inspiring us to dream bigger and change the trajectory of our lives.
But we might be lucky enough to stumble on a tweet or to be in a conversation at some random event by intentionally putting ourselves in spaces where those situations are the likeliest to happen.
Away from my musings, I read pretty interesting stuff this week, so let’s unpack them:
There are so many (career and life) lessons packed in this wonderfully written article and I will be going back to it many times.
If you’ve been looking for a sign to profess your romantic affection to your friend and tell them how you want to be more than friends with them, here’s the sign. Ts & Cs apply.
The Singhs have created what I can only describe as something from an episode of Black Mirror, except this is real life. This article echoes my sentiment whenever I see a funny video or picture of a child. I ask myself things like: is this right? How would this child feel seeing this video on the internet ten years from now? Can children even consent to be filmed and have it posted on the internet? What are the social implications in decades to come?
Love can happen anywhere, and if you’re like Barbara Roberts, it could be in the arms of a mafia lord.
I don’t want to say too much about this story. Read it instead and see for yourself. Also, I hope Funmi is somewhere reading it too and smiling.
What this newsletter is:
Reading: 1984, by George Orwell. It’s my fourth attempt and I hope I finish it this time.
Watching: The Office. This is a cry for help! It’s my third rewatch and I find myself even completing the dialogue sometimes. Send help!
Doing: I recently started a morning routine and it entails doing yoga and drinking tea after. Correlation is not causation, but I’ve experienced more positive emotions and felt more grounded since I started.
That’s it for this newsletter. Thank you for reading.
With love,
Titi.
Wow. Thank you so much, Pelumi. I’ll hold these words with me to inspire me when I feel like quitting
I don't know if anyone has told you but you're literally a blessing.